Ordinarily, upon hearing the word "intimacy," we usually think only of it's physical side when, in fact, intimacy has two components.

• There is, of course, the physical aspect of intimacy encompassing lesser intimate acts like holding hands as well as more intimate acts, like sex. You do not have to have a physical relationship with someone in order to be intimate with him or her. While physical intimacy is certainly a part of most romantic relationships, it is important to have emotional intimacy as well.
  
• Emotional intimacy involves sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with another person in an open and honest way. Most of us can experience this kind of intimacy within our group of friends, with our family members, or with our partner. Emotional intimacy can only enhance any physical relationship you may be having.

    There are several considerations in determining if a relationship is intimate or not.

• The choice to enter into a relationship must be mutual; any feelings of pressure are not conducive for establishing intimacy.
  
• There must be reciprocity in the relationship, meaning that each person is giving equally in a consistent, constructive and non-judgmental manner. If this is happening then a firm foundation for trust has been formed. Trust is the backbone of intimacy. Without trust, intimacy cannot occur.

    Attaining and maintaining intimacy is not easy. If you expect intimacy to develop right away or expect to be intimate with most everyone, you will probably end up very disappointed. Intimacy needs to grow naturally; it cannot be forced. Make sure you choose carefully when, where, how and with whom you disclose personal information. Premature self disclosures can put people on the defensive and make them wonder, "Why are you telling me this?" A common block to intimacy is acting within some sort of stereotypical role, hiding our true thoughts and feelings. While this is "safe" and avoids some risks, it is not conducive for intimacy to occur. Intimacy involves clear and direct communication of our intent in the relationship.

    Intimacy can also be blocked by fear of rejection. Everyone has suffered rejection and the other person in the relationship probably has the same apprehensions. The only way to conquer this fear is to take a calculated risk. If you have evaluated when, where, how, and with whom you are choosing to self disclose, and feel confident in your choice, sharing your thoughts and feelings should be quite natural. Begin where you feel most comfortable and don't try to hurry it along; intimacy will unfold itself.

Taken from the peer counseling page of the Middle Earth Peer Assistance Program.

This is an adaptation of Eric Fromm's five components of an intimate relationship:
 

• Trust--without trust intimacy cannot be established.  Trust is having confidence in the reliability, integrity, character, etc. of another.
• Caring--Fromm states that you must first care for yourself; in other words, you must have self-esteem.  Low self-esteem has a negative effect on an intimate relationship.  Low self-esteem is one factor that leads to jealousy.
• Sharing--you must be willing to share intimate knowledge.  You must be willing to learn about your intimate partner and willing to share your true self and feelings with that partner.
• Respect--you must respect and appreciate your own and others' uniqueness and accept differences.  A lack of self-respect is closely tied to a lack of self-esteem.
• Responsibility--you must be willing to take responsibility to and for others.  When you take responsibility for another, you are willing to care for and nurture that person while at the same time realizing that your intimate partner has the same feelings about you.  Responsibility for one another is a shared responsibility.  Responsibility to another means that you recognize the impact your actions have on your intimate partner.  What you do not only reflects on yourself but on your intimate partner as well.  You owe it to one another to be responsible to one another as well as to be responsible for one another.  Learning to be a responsible individual is part of maturing.  Persons who resist maturing resist responsibility and vice versa.